December 2011
sourcechelseawoosh:
in honor of 2011 i have wasted the final day of 2011 just like how i wasted every other day in 2011
me: hmm i wonder what's going on at facebook
everyone: new year new me
me: nevermind
friend: i got an A on my calculus test
friend: i got a hot boyfriend
friend: i had so much fun partying this weekend
me: one time i got four notes on a text post i made
pornpug:
i wish people fell in love with me based on my music taste
plastic surgeon: how can i help you
me: well, i was wondering if you could remove this general area
plastic surgeon: you just gestured to your entire face
me: yea so can you do it
teacher: where's your homework
me: why are you so obsessed with me
Meeting my favorite band member
Me: Will you sign this?
Them: Sure
Them: Wait,what is that?
Me: A marriage certificate
Them: But.. I..
Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
mom: do you have a boyfriend
me: um yeah
mom: does he exist
me: obviously
mom: does he know you exist
me: not yet
almost-fiction-dear:
4 tags
2 tags
yeh okay so I’m going on holiday tomorrow and I won’t blog as much as I do now so yep bye ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: I LOVE YOU I WANT TO BE IMPREGNATED BY YOU I WANT TO THROW MY ARMS AROUND YOU AND SNUGGLE WITH YOU IN A BED I DON'T EVEN CARE IF IT'S YOURS WE COULD BREAK INTO FUCKING IKEA AND SNUGGLE ON THE FUCKING HÜDENFRËUGEFS I DON'T CARE I WANT TO HOLD YOU AND TOUCH YOUR FACE AND LOVE YOU AND MAKE YOU FUCKING PANCAKES WITH SOME BACON AND ORANGE JUICE AND YOU KNOW WHERE WE'LL GO AFTER THAT WE'LL GO TO THE BEACH AND BANG AND WE CAN HAVE A MONTAGE OF US SKIPPING THROUGH A MOTHER FUCKING FIELD OF MOTHER FUCKING DAISYS AND WE'LL HAVE CHILDREN AND HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY WHILE YOU'RE ON THE ROAD AND WE'LL RUN AROUND IN THE NUDE WHEN WE'RE OLD AND THE KIDS ARE GROWN CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE ALONE AND THAT OLD YOU CAN SAY FUCK CLOTHES MAN GIMMIE MY FUCKING TAPIOCA PUDDING GOD JUST LOVE ME.
Attractive band guy: I'm sorry I didn't catch that, whatd you say?
Me: oh can you sign my cd please? And maybe have illegal sex with me?
Attractive Band Guy: What.
Me: What who said that
warmskin:
she might be more attractive but im funnier than her
would she embarrass herself in public to make you smile no i dont think so
changing in my room
me: oh, hi poster, didnt see you there
me: *pulls off shirt*
me: you like that, dont you, you naughty poster you
Watchbr4tm0bile:
gayforlindseyway:
dontbeafraidtonevergrowup:
i-am-the-10-percent:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG HAHHHAHAHHAHAHA
OMG Dhsbfiadosvdosh
ur my role model
